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Jordanne Brown is a stand-up comedian, writer, and performer based in Toronto. I first encountered Jordanne a few months ago at one of Toronto's legendary community spaces, Bar Orwell, located on Dundas West. Jordanne essentially wrapped the audience around her little finger and rocked the room, firing off one joke after another as if they were bullets shooting out of a gun. Bar Orwell was absolutely buzzin'— "bzzzz."
After Jordanne's set, I buzzed up out of my seat and headed to the bar. It's time for a drink, I thought to myself, eagerly pushing my way through the one or two people in my way. As I scoped out the drink fridge, I remembered that I don't always need alcohol to have a good time, so I opted for a Coke. The bartender, who I can't remember anything about, nodded in approval, "Nice choice," he affirmed. The next thing I knew he was slamming the can down on the bar in front of me.
He grasped my Coke with his left hand and slipped his right index finger under the tab, pulling back at it teasingly, as if to imply, "You want me to open this can pretty bad, huh?" I did want that. He looked down at the can and then back up at me, our eyes locked, he paused. Something felt off. Why wasn't he opening my Coke? What the f*ck is going on here? Sensing my fear and confusion, the bartender began explaining, "So, before I open this, there's something you should know..." He was being super serious, like, in a way where it made me feel like he wasn't going to give me my Coke. He continued, "There is currently no ice because we don't have a sink behind the bar." I was shook. No ice? What the—? "Damn," I muttered. I then quickly got my shit together and decided I'll just get the Coke anyway—and did. He instantly cracked it open and handed it to me just as I gave him my 5 bucks or however much it was, but I was pissed. I don't even think I said thank you. I slowly made my way back to my seat, thinking to myself, "no ice equals no tip."
I sat down and sipped my warm Coke. The once buzzin' room was now filled with nothing but dread, for me at least. The legendary Bar Orwell suddenly didn't feel so legendary.
30 Jordanne Brown Has a Selfie on the Tilt-A-Whirl
01 30 Jordanne Brown Has a Selfie on the Tilt-A-Whirl.mp3
